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“Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine, I’ll taste your strawberries, I ‘ll drink your sweet wine, a million tomorrows will all pass away, ere’ I forget all the joy that is mine today…you’ll know who I am by the songs that I sing, I’ll feast at your table, …who cares what tomorrow shall bring, I can’t be contented with yesterday’s glory, I can’t live on promises winter to spring, today is my moment, now is my story, I’ll laugh and I’ll cry and I’ll sing…”
Maureen is on-line, her role as Director of CTW's "Cheaper By the Dozen" was a success and now she has taken to the ArtSeesdiner Stage as a writer. We welcome a Cup of Moe with our Joe and say Brava! Brava! Brava!
Midlife Crisis? Or Enlightenment Time? ~ August 2008
As I sit over my morning cup of Joe/Moe, I had a thought...yeah, shocking! But here it is: It seems that the older we get, the more settled we should become in our lives. Our families, careers, friendships should all be - well, settled!
So why is that so many people have what is labeled "mid-life crisis" and turn their lives around? It seems that this label, as so many labels in life are, can be construed as an insult for those who have had their "lightbulb moment" later in life. Could it simply be that, as life carries on, we've chosen a different path on the road we started when we were in our 20s (or teens)?
As I have grown and, hopefully, matured into a 50+ adult, I have found that I have a keener understanding of who I am. That awakening started about 10 years ago when I realized I was defined in the public eye as wife and mother...but what happened to me? Where was that person who loved being on stage, despite my shyness and insecurity that came from being the tallest girl in the high school I attended? What happened to my dream of wanting to help children? Was it really being satisfied by routing school buses??
Other things came to mind, too. For instance, where I may have been the 'yes' person as a younger adult, I now realized that somewhere along the line I have to say no...if for no other reason than to allow myself to find time to sleep! These types of little realizations, such as the fact that telling someone "no" doesn't make me a bad person, have helped me become more confident, self-assured, and happy. And if I say no, maybe someone else will be asked who really was too shy to volunteer. Don't laugh...it's happened! I am still learning to say no - trying to juggle priorities all the time. This is proven by the fact that I am still over-extended in my personal life. (I also still have a hard time asking for help...but I'm working on it!)
This type of thinking at this phase of my life has also helped me understand who other people are and how they fit into my life. I'm sure most of you, if not all, repeatedly have received that e-mail that talks about friends "for a Reason, for a Season, or for a Lifetime". I agree that sometimes we have short-term friends - those, according to the e-mail, are the reason or season friends. Then we have those magnificent, unconditional, deep-rooted Lifetime friends. The key to all of this is how people fit into your life...sometimes you just don't know until further down the road how they will be defined, according to the e-mail...and verified by my life-experiences.
I have been blessed to have the Reason, the Season, and the Lifetime friends. Some helped me through tough times during a job or a theatre production. Some stayed around after those times or shows to help me through other things. And some, despite the hard-knocks of life, remain around to be there for me - without question, without keeping score. Some of those friends have been family. But most of them have been people that I have defined as "angels sent from God". Of course, I can only hope that they feel the same about me!
As the old Indian saying goes, "Don't judge a man until you've walked in his moccasins". Or, as I've said myself when finding out someone left their spouse - especially if I thought their marriage was 'ideal' - "I didn't live with you to know what your life was really like behind closed doors." When you find that someone has a life-changing event, made a life-altering decision, I can only hope that you can be open-minded - better yet, OPEN-HEARTED - enough to look past the surface. Take the time to understand why that person has changed their life...maybe they finally found their heart and are taking a chance to pursue that dream they forgot about when life happened when they were 20.
Some sayings come to mind about this subject: Judge not, lest we be judged; People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones; Those among you who are without sin, cast the first stone. Or the best one, the one I try to live: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Most of all, think about this – is a mid-life change really a crisis? Maybe, just maybe, it’s a time of enlightenment, a realization that life is too short to just ‘settle’.
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